don’t call me good

I see dead people. Ok, mostly just their coffins, but I hear about a lot of dead people. And one thing I have learned is that anyone can be presented as someone who was lovely, and who loved everyone. Time and again I hear of people who would ‘do anything for anyone’, when really I think probably what they would actually do is anything for people they knew; anything for people they liked; anything for people they lived near; anything for people who were easy to get on with; anything for people when it doesn’t really cost a great deal. 

Like all of us, really. 

Image from www.asbojesus.wordpress.com

The love Jesus talks about in John 15 is greater, deeper, bolder than simply being good. We can all be good. Many people tell me they are good people. Mostly when the vicar they’ve never met comes round and they feel uncomfortable about not having set foot in church their daughter was ‘done’ in 1957. I am not interested in people being good. I have no time for good. It’s all very well, but it has no frame of reference, no benchmark except itself.

What I am interested in, and what Jesus is talking about, is love. Love that is more than a feeling or an emotion, more than something that wells up inside like when you’re watching a movie and the soundtrack swells and the slow-motion close-ups go out of focus and the world feels like an X-Factor backstory. Love, true love, involves cost, and a cost that doesn’t expect anything back in return. And to understand why, we need to look at Jesus. 

Jesus talks about love a bit like it is a river. Every river has a source, and for Jesus the source of love is the Father, that is, God. I have loved you, as my Father loved me. The Father loves, and his love is poured out into Jesus. So, Jesus loves. But he doesn’t do it all himself. He says remain faithful to me and obey my command that you love each other. The Father loves Jesus, Jesus loves us, and we in turn love each other. Love each other, as I have loved you.

My command is not to follow rules but to love. A love that begins and ends in self-giving, cost and sacrifice.  

Image from www.asbojesus.wordpress.com

So let’s not try to be good. Let’s try to be love. And not a blurry weepy weak and soppy love but love that stands up for the outcast, the untouchable and love that looks beyond me and my family and my club and my street, a love that isn’t just for the easy to love, the kind, the nearby, those who love us back, but a love that keeps on loving because it is a love that comes from Jesus, that comes from the Father.

With that love we can change the world. With that love we are changing the world. 

truth of the world

It is easy to rub our hands in glee. It is easy to join in the (somewhat hypocritical) recriminations that our politicians are engaging in. It is easy to speak words of hate or of vengeance. It is easy to jump on a bandwagon.

But our news of the world is good news and we are meant to be good news. That good news is love. Deep love. That affects and infects everything we do and every thing we are.

When the Hebrews wanted to get something across that was deep-felt and passionate, they didn’t write treatises and systematic theologies. Or letters to newspapers. They blogged poetry. They poured forth. I do too sometimes – it’s not all good, it wouldn’t win awards, but that’s not the point.

…………………………………………….

I see you and I notice you
I see you and I notice you

and I see that you feel angry
and I see that you feel frightened
and I see that you feel entitled
and I see that you feel rights

and I love you
and I love you
and I love you

I see that you see other people getting more than you
I see that you see other people paying less than you
I see that you see other people served quicker than you
I see that you see people from a different place than you

standing where you want to be standing
living where you want to be living
receiving what you want to be receiving

and I see that I love you and I see that I love you
and I see that I love you and I see that I love you

and I see that you see no-one understanding
and I see that you see no-one caring
and I see that you see that it always was this way
and I see that you see that always it will be

and I see that you hear that I love you
and I see that you hear that I love you

and I want you to feel that I love you
and I want you to taste that I love you
and I want you to breathe that I love you

breathe in
…and love
breathe out
…and love

breathe love to change us
breathe love to mould us to break us to bend us
breathe love to move us
breathe love become part of us
breathe love in to breathe love out
breathe a generous love
breathe a hopeful love

and your love and my love can rub together
and explode into a beautiful and terrifying and awesome
explosion of love
that we will never be the same again
because the smile on your face will be so big
and the weight will be lifted
and the fear will be ended
and you will be transformed…

…and even so, and anyway, and because, and forever,
I love you.

…………………………………………………….

This poem first appeared in on paranoid tabloids in February 2010

talking down

Last Sunday evening one of our teenagers climbed on the roof again, the first time for ages. Having promised I would call the Police if it happened, I did, after giving him the chance to come down. He didn’t. The Police duly came. Due to the freezing weather (pre-snow) they called the Ambulance. And the Fire Brigade (don’t you just love the word ‘brigade’. Very quaint). Our little street has never had so much drama. In the end I managed to talk him down after 2 hours, so the harnesses and hunky firemen were not needed.

So happens next?

A freezing teenager with hands cold as ice, shivering, still cross with everyone for not just leaving him alone… well, if we transpose this to some people’s idea of God, and how he will treat us on the other side (which is actually this side, but more of that another time…), the freezing hands should not be warmed but  made colder to teach a lesson; rules have been breached, a line has been crossed, justice must be done. And justice always means pain, rejection. Punishment.

Funnily enough we didn’t do that. A warm house, time to think, a conversation with a Police Officer – all accepted. A hot drink (rejected) and cheese on toast (rejected – but yummy in my tummy). Love says: this behaviour is not acceptable but you are loved. Love says: this behaviour is not acceptable but I understand the turmoil in your mind and I want to help you. Love says: you have ruined my evening but love is patient and love is kind even when love is stretched to the end of its tether. What punishment works but love, nothing like the chesed (continuing love) of Yahweh of course, but love all the same.

Justice is of course a part of this, and not apart from this. Because I don’t believe the justice of God depends on formulas like science experiments. You’ve committed this sin so you are out; you have been good, so you are in. Tally up the votes like in X-Factor and chuck you out or keep you in? I think not. Because true justice isn‘t so blinkered. True justice knows that people do things wrong because of things that have gone wrong because of things that have gone wrong… True justice knows that perfect love drives out all fear; that the strength of love is stronger than the strongest punishment; that for those who know no love, love is terrifying enough. And beautiful enough. And unexpected enough.

The grace and love and forgiveness of God must always be terrifying. To those who know it, sometimes not terrifying enough. To those who don’t yet know, terrifying indeed.  And beautiful. And unexpected. And utterly transforming.

At the end, maybe we will all be talked down by love.

amazing

Every now and then I am overcome with what some of you go through every day. People I meet and people I know who daily struggle with depression, eating disorders, domestic violence, bi-polar disorder, bullying, schizophrenia, mental health issues, physical pain, bereavement, loneliness, and all kinds of other things.

Some of you have found faith in the midst of these issues; some of you have held on to faith in the midst of them; some of you have lost faith in the midst of them.This is a tribute to all of you, some of whom wear your experiences on your sleeve and some of whom keep them so well hidden no-one would know. No-one.

Faith is a dirty and messy thing because faith is part of all this crappy stuff, clinging on, falling off, picking itself up, falling off. Faith is very real. And is certainly not escapism. Some say that faith is a crutch for the weak and the desperate and yes, the weak and the desperate are very welcome. As is everyone. Jesus is my teacher and my inspiration, and I see him sitting with the weak and the desperate, and the strong and together, who turned out to be weak and desperate anyway. He incarnated – became flesh – as one of us. That matters. He’s not a quick fix fix-it magic wand kind of God. Inadequate as that may seem, when a magic wand to take away the problem might seem better.

You are amazing. Amazing when you carry on, amazing when you cannot. And you are loved. Loved when you cope, loved when you do not. Loved when you function, loved when you cannot. Loved when you give in, and loved when you do not. Love is patient, when we cannot be. Love is kind, when we cannot be. Love protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, when we cannot.  Love loves when we have run out.

Words are so inadequate, quoting the bible is so trite, for the depths of pain some of you daily feel. So I thought I would go ultra-cheesy and post this song because it truly is ultra-cheesy and it makes me smile and you people, you make me smile because you are amazing, you keep my faith real and grounded and in perspective where it should be. Thank you for what you give me.

When you smile the whole world stops and stares for while. Because you are amazing.

And it that is too cheesy, there’s always the Mumfords!

trusting the peanuts

Somehow Jesus has got a reputation for being all about a wishy washy inoffensive kind of love that strokes kittens, opens doors for old ladies and is about as powerful as a doormat. Not quite what he had in mind when he challenged ordinary people that lust is as bad as adultery and anger as bad as murder. What he had in mind was something altogether more powerful, more challenging, more distinctive. A revolution of holiness that wasn’t all about outward signs and climbing ladders of loveliness but radical change that began at the heart – in the heart – and moved slowly outwards. Not the other way around. And when we are changed that change affects everything and one of the least popular things to change is the way we handle money.

Jesus shows us that the way we see money and possessions shows us where our love is. And the principles are the same for those on bankers bonuses or income support. How we handle money shows how deeply our hearts have been changed. You cannot serve god but be held captive by desire for money and possessions on the side; neither can you serve money and try to placate God by a little church attendance or some loose change on the side. And yet…

if you are fiddling books or benefits or buying dodgy goods…
you are still loved.

if you are grasping and clutching for more things so much that they define who you are…
you are still loved.

if you are simply being tight with your money…
you are still loved.

if you are involved in adultery, or prostitution, or bullying, or abuse, or petty crime, or anger…
you are still loved.

But you must change. We must change.

Although we struggle and we fail, although we like our possessions and we might fiddle the benefits or the books, there is always, always room for grace. That doesn’t mean that God is nice and turns a blind eye and we all breathe a sigh of relief – no, it means when we stop what we are doing and when we repent, turn around, there is total forgiveness. Hard choices. Distinctive choices.

How much better to fall fully into the loving arms of God, to know that he sees everything and you don’t have to try and hide things like the toddler who hides the chocolate behind his back thinking mummy can’t see, forgetting about the mess around his lips? Because God is love. Distinctive love. God’s love challenges our deepest desires and means that we cannot help but be distinctive in the way we are with our money, from the  ‘murky city‘ to the struggling family.

As faith begins as a mustard seed so trust begins with peanuts.

eye for a (cat’s) eye

The cat-in-wheelie-bin woman has caused quite a stir. She has been seized on by the tabloids as a way to sell papers; she has been seized on by angry people as a place to vent their anger. People have been gathering outside her house to demonstrate just how much they hate her; and in the modern way of armchair protesting a Facebook group has been set up against her so people can write nonsense which no-one will read.

Mob justice seems to be making something of a rebirth. People by-passing the law and taking justice into their own hands.  Humiliate her! Stone her! She has done a terrible thing – we must do a more terrible thing back! Because that will be justice!

It is to that kind of action that Yahweh gave the idea of  ‘an eye for an eye‘ – which seems odd to us but is actually a way of limiting retribution and mob justice to a ‘fair’ level. So if someone steals your donkey you do not kill them. You take their donkey. For example. It means that justice is measured, talked about, done as a community and not simply as family vs family like a never-ending episode of EastEnders.

However, Jesus has moved us on even further than that. He said this:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ ³⁹ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰ And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴²Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5)

This is a crazy way to live. This completely turns the tables on mob justice. It challenges our ideas of fairness, of justice, of strength and of weakness. It means that we do not steal the lady’s cat and put it in a bin; neither do we throw stones or words at her to her face or Facebook. Because love cannot do those things. Love can be angry, yes. But love channels anger. Love can seek justice, yes. But love does not seek mob justice. I don’t know about where you live, but here this cuts to the very heart of a culture of reactive justice, and it seems absolutely ridiculous. But it works. I have hope that it works.

Imagine if all this anger was channelled into positive community activism instead of vigilante justice. That would give me hope! And that would be the kingdom coming.

faithworks 3: bulging with rage

John Venables has once again aroused the rage of the British people. Child-killing and now possible child porn offenses – a heady concoction for our society to deal with. Rightly, we become angry. It hurts and offends us. There are not many things we hold sacred any more, not many moral standards we can all unite behind, but offences against children fill that gap. Gathering in packs, wielding weapons of words and worse, we intend to do violence. Violence to John Venables, because he has done violence to others. Violence to the parole board, for they let him out. Violence to Jack Straw for not allowing us to do violence in person.

He should get life, we cry. He should get the death sentence, we cry. He has killed, so he should be killed, we cry. For the sake of James Bulger, we cry. A liberal, tolerant, open and democratic society suddenly loses the plot and we sound like the worst parts of Leviticus.

Is there another way?

Barry and Margaret Mizen

At the Faithworks Conference I saw Barry and Maragaret Mizen. They showed another way. On 10th May 2008 their 16 yr old son Jimmy was murdered in a bakery because of some sausage rolls. They told of being absolutely devastated, and they still are. They told of being angry, which they still are. They told of being on the edge of holding it together, which they still are. But they did not speak of revenge. When it first happened, they wanted to, but the words that came out of their mouths were not words of revenge, but forgiveness. Not violence, but compassion. Not anger, but love.

They put this down to Jesus. Jesus transforms our anger, our very real and justified anger. He doesn’t transform it into something weak, into letting people walk all over us. No. He transforms our anger into a passion for justice, for righteousness. Not for revenge. Not hate. Not more violence. The Jimmy Mizen Foundation promotes the good in young people. That is a good start.

Forgiveness is stronger and harder than any kind of violence, whether knee-jerk or planned. Forgiveness calls us to stop, to look deep into the eyes of our hatred, our pain, our anger and our rage, to sweat it out and cry it out, and to keep looking, until the eyes we look into become eyes of compassion, eyes of love. Stand firm, and when you have stood, continue to stand. That is true strength. That is true courage. Not joining a Facebook group or finding Venable’s identity so you can throw a stone through his window. Or worse.

Anger and rage is addictive, satisfying. And the easy option. In an interview with The Times in march 2009 Margaret Mizen said,

“People expect me to be angry, but I believe wholeheartedly it was anger that killed my son. There is so much anger around, it’s actually breaking up society, and I’m not going to let that happen to my family.”

We who have not lost as she has have a lot to learn.  We must not leave someone who has been in prison since they were 10 to the mercy of the lynch mob. We must not feel that it is any of our our business.

Jesus said, Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Jesus said, Not eye for eye and tooth for tooth but turn the other cheek and go the extra mile for your enemy. Jesus said Not love your neighbour and hate your enemy, but love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

None of that is easy. It is perhaps the hardest thing in the world. But the Mizens are just ordinary, humble people, falling and failing and yet hoping and believing and being transformed by the power of the risen Jesus, the real Jesus. May we be people who radiate hope in a society that loves to hate, who see God in people who others can only demonise. Jesus prayed that we would be the light of the world. If we stand together, ten million fireflies can give a whole lot of light.

May we be people of light, not bulging with hate and enslaved by rage but bulging with an overpowering love and a liberating hope.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

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on paranoid tabloids

Paranoid tabloids. Immigration, race, rights, Muslims,  fear… so many things that are so easy to write about, that seep into the conciousness,  and are so hard to diffuse. They feed our tribalism, our worry and our paranoia. It’s lazy journalism to always say everything is going to pot, and to dig up extreme examples.

I think we need to counter this. And I think that the way to counter this is not by trying to shout louder, not to fight with a fightier fight. But to love. Love. Love. Love. Patient, kind, gentle, love.

When the Hebrews wanted to get something across that was deep-felt and passionate, they didn’t write treatises and systematic theologies. Or letters to newspapers. They blogged poetry. They poured forth. I do too sometimes – it’s not all good, it wouldn’t win awards, but that’s not the point.

…………………………………………….

I see you and I notice you
I see you and I notice you

and I see that you feel angry
and I see that you feel frightened
and I see that you feel entitled
and I see that you feel rights

and I love you
and I love you
and I love you

I see that you see other people getting more than you
I see that you see other people paying less than you
I see that you see other people served quicker than you
I see that you see people from a different place than you

standing where you want to be standing
living where you want to be living
receiving what you want to be receiving

and I see that I love you and I see that I love you
and I see that I love you and I see that I love you

and I see that you see no-one understanding
and I see that you see no-one caring
and I see that you see that it always was this way
and I see that you see that always it will be

and I see that you hear that I love you
and I see that you hear that I love you

and I want you to feel that I love you
and I want you to taste that I love you
and I want you to breathe that I love you

breathe in
…and love
breathe out
…and love

breathe love to change us
breathe love to mould us to break us to bend us
breathe love to move us
breathe love become part of us
breathe love in to breathe love out
breathe a generous love
breathe a hopeful love

and your love and my love can rub together
and explode into a beautiful and terrifying and awesome
explosion of love
that we will never be the same again
because the smile on your face will be so big
and the weight will be lifted
and the fear will be ended
and you will be transformed…

…and even so, and anyway, and because, and forever,
I love you.

…………………………………………..

After I wrote that, I read this, and it resonated. May we be full of mercy, not hate:

Paul writes, ” We also lived angry and and envious, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,  he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy....” (Titus 3.3b-4)